Child custody terms can be challenging to work through. You and your ex might have very different ideas of what’s best for the children, but you need to come to agreements for the parenting plan. It is all too easy to go into the situation with a determination to make everything happen your way, but this isn’t likely going to happen.
Instead of focusing on what you want, you have to open your mind. Be willing to think about how the things your ex is asking for might impact the children. You may have to evaluate certain aspects of the parenting plan to determine whether they’re truly worth fighting over. You might realize that things that don’t affect the child’s safety aren’t really that important.
Remember that the focus has to be on the children. This isn’t a time to air your grievances about what your ex did that contributed to the divorce. Unless the things that you’re bringing up have a direct impact on your child’s safety, it’s best to leave them out of the process. When safety is an issue, such as if there is child abuse going on, bringing the concerns to the court is a good idea.
You shouldn’t allow yourself to equate your ex’s ability to be a good spouse with their ability to be a good parent. Instead, pay close attention to how they’re interacting with the kids. You may find that they’re doing a good job, and you can use that realization to help you encourage the children to have a meaningful relationship with them.