Due to precautions related to COVID-19, we have expanded our options for remote consultations. Please contact our office to discuss whether a full phone consultation or video conference is appropriate for your situation.

Finding ways to work with an uncooperative co-parent

On Behalf of | Feb 4, 2020 | Family Law

People who are going through a divorce might not be able to stand each other but they need to be able to work as a team to raise the children even after the marriage ends. This isn’t always possible because some people hold on to the hurt and negative feelings associated with the split.

Trying to work with an uncooperative ex can make the situation very difficult. You have options for making things a bit less stressful. One of the first things that you’ll have to do is evaluate the involvement that your ex has with raising the children.

Potential situations

If your ex is an active and involved parent but refuses to co-parent or cooperate, you might just have to find a parenting style that fits. This may be parallel parenting, which means that you and your ex both do your own thing with the kids when they are with you. There isn’t much interaction between each other.

If your ex doesn’t do anything with the kids and doesn’t cooperate with your attempts to co-parent, there might not be much you can do. You’ll have to think carefully about how much energy you’re going to put into trying to get that parent to spend time with the children. In some cases, you may have to keep track of when parenting time is skipped and take appropriate legal action.

Attempting to cooperate

As you think about the situation, you might realize the problems are stemming from certain topics. Finding ways to address them when they can’t be avoided might be the key to making the situation work. Sometimes, using a neutral third party or a documented communication app might be beneficial.

The schedule might be the issue if the parent wants to be involved but can’t. Being as flexible as possible when it comes to the schedule might help in this case. Approaching your ex about the possible scheduling conflict may shed some light on what’s going on.

Remember that you shouldn’t ever put the children in the middle of contentious matters. You should always handle these directly with your ex in a respectful manner or through an agreed upon middle person. The goal in these cases is always to work out something that puts the children’s best interests at the heart of the matter.

If there are serious issues that remain after you’ve tried to smooth them over, working with the court might be the necessary action to get a suitable parenting plan. This could help you to find solutions that meet your child’s needs.