When you decided to divorce, you may or may not have thought ahead to various types of situations that may cause potential stress between you and your former spouse where your children are concerned. Like many Kentucky parents, there have probably been (and will most likely continue to be) times when you and your children's other parent disagree. In fact, summer break is often a season when tempers begin to burn and problems arise regarding visitation schedules.
If your children's time off school has been less than peaceful so far due to unresolved issues with your former spouse, don't lose hope. There may be several options available to help you get back on track while keeping your children's best interests at heart.
Avoid power struggles and control issues
It's easy to let old hurts or other personal issues come between you and your former spouse. This is not uncommon in divorce, but can lead to serious problems if it crosses into areas that pertain to your kids. Remembering the following may help you avert summer time visitation disasters:
- What your children want and need: Although adults are obviously the ones making decisions regarding child custody and visitation issues, most parents also want to take their children's feelings into consideration. To keep summer stress at bay, it often helps to discuss summer break ahead of time so you're well aware of any ideas your children wish to share regarding visitation time during summer months.
- Avoid last minute changes: Studies show most children thrive on structure and routine. Especially where divorce is concerned, it's best to maintain a sense of normalcy as much as possible in your children's lives. To that end, if you wish to avoid summer time visitation complications, it may help to get a set plan in writing, rather than constantly "winging it" and making unexpected changes that may cause stress for everyone involved.
- Be willing to compromise: At the same time, even with a set plan in place, life sometimes throws an unexpected curve ball, thus necessitating an existing schedule change. If ex-spouses refuse to adapt their plans when requested, they may be within their legal rights to do so but it likely won't make summer vacation time any less stressful.
- Make good use of personal time: Many parents experience emotional turmoil when summer rolls around and their children are away with their other parents, in many cases, for weeks at a time. If you can relate, it may help you to plan some special events of your own or get caught up on projects you'd like to tackle, etc., to provide healthy distractions for yourself rather than stressing over your children's absence.
If you're one of the lucky Kentucky parents who have a good relationship with your former spouse, the two of you may be able to devise a summer visitation plan that merely needs the court's stamp of approval. If not, you may be able to relate to others who have reached out for support to rectify summer visitation problems.
Sometimes, parents need to rely on aggressive litigation to resolve a particular situation. In such circumstances, it helps to act alongside experienced representation in court.